I’m sharing the lessons I’ve learned in 2018
December 31st, 2017, I woke up earlier than usual and headed to the city with my baby girl. Growing up, my New Year’s Eve (NYE) tradition required welcoming the New Year with a clean home, a cooked meal, and a night of church services. The kids are now familiar with my childhood tradition, which is extremely essential to me. But, it was necessary they knew I was open for change. 2017 was a challenging year, and together we experienced changes none of us anticipated. It was important to me that my kids felt comfortable exploring different ways of bringing in the new year. So when Sid asked to go to Barnes and Noble, I quickly obliged. We headed to the @barnesandnoble location in Union Square, to browse the book aisles but left with two daily devotionals. Remember when I blogged about them here? Before heading home, we stopped by Whole-Foods, which happened to be directly across from the Barnes and Noble we visited. With Apple Cider and sage in hand, we made our way back home around 6:00 pm. This was our first year we were going to spend it away from my son and their father.
Before 2017, each New Year’s Eve was spent under the same roof. Due to our separation earlier in the year, this would be the first time we would spend the day in two separate households. I was scared for my daughter and the questions she would ask that I wouldn’t have the answers to. In some ways, my experiences as a child prepared me for that moment. I remembered hearing my parents conversations around a variety of “grown folks issues.” I could picture my mother’s face with the look of disgust and anguish. I recalled her being angry all the time, someone you
All to say, January 1st, 2018 we woke up in separate homes. And for the next few months, I experienced emotions I never knew existed. I vividly recall two consecutive weeks waking up with anxiety, stressing and fearing the unknown. Had it not been for reading the daily devotionals and affirmations, weekly trips to the therapist office and intentionally surrounding myself with the right individuals, I am not sure how things would have turned out for me. The combination of intentional acts healed scars I did not recall having. As I close 2018, a year I consider full of growth and revelations, I want to leave you with key lessons I’ve learned during those moments:
- Don’t wait for a storm (i.e. a New Year) to start something new. I find that sometimes we are so focused on what we were taught as children, that we believe that’s the only way and absolutely no other way. And therefore we don’t challenge ourselves to explore beyond. Do you realize there’s no real excitement in doing things the same way for the rest of our lives? I’m not encouraging you to be disregard traditions, all I’m saying is, don’t be afraid to adopt new ones. There’s beauty in doing so and with intent – don’t wait for the storm, get in front of it with preparation.
- Change is inevitable and important for us to grow. While ours wasn’t peaches and vanilla ice cream (my favorite btw) we found ourself at parallel roads working (we would come to understand this later in our journey) on our individual healing. We needed to learn how to love our selves first, how to let go of people that no longer served us, and for those that we couldn’t get rid of, how to limit our interactions with them. Bottom line, we’ve learned (I know for sure, I did) how to show up for ourselves as our best selves. As a result, we are now able to teach our children how to do the same. I believe it was in those dark moments we learned how much of a disservice it would have been for our kids had we continued on the path of mediocrity. #alignment
- Embrace Discomfort – it’s part of your journey, it only shows up to teach you important life lessons. Therefore, whenever you are faced with challenging times, I encourage you to ask the universe for the ability to overcome instead of removing the discomfort. Otherwise, you could be robbing yourself of important life lessons. Think about that for a second.
- Accept and operate in the season the universe has put you in. Acceptance for me did not mean that I was comfortable or content with where I was, it just meant that I was grateful for the abilities to see this as part of the journey. #discrement
- Live the life you have and stop wishing for the life you had. Bottom line, be grateful for what you have before you go asking for more. #Gratitude
In addition to the lessons I’ve learned, here’s what 2018 did for me, it contributed to my spiritual growth, helped me to discover my purpose and equipped me with the knowledge that will serve our children on their journey of discovering their purpose in life. As Oprah Winfrey said “..the highest honor on earth that you will ever have is the honor of being yourself. The only true job you have is to discover why you are here….” and, I agree wholeheartedly. As parents who have committed the latter half of 2018 to
I am looking forward to continuing living a life full of purpose, to invest in my children and our future – mentally, spiritually and financially – to pouring into relationships that are only of significance, to cultivating and procuring new ones. Wishing you all a purposeful New Year and encouraging you to embrace change and live life fully while you are still breathing.
Thanks for reading…